Talking to YOur Wife about depression

More than 20 million Americans are known to be clinically depressed. This is disheartening news for sure. Do you feel like your wife is one of these who struggle with depression?  Do you feel like her constant sadness is putting a strain on the relationship?  If so, perhaps it is time to have a serious heart to heart with your wife.

signs of depression

If your wife really is suffering from depression, she will display signs like:

  •   Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed
  •   Persistent sadness
  •   Sleeping for longer periods of time
  •   Irritability
  •   Lack of sexual drive
  •   Not being present in mind often
  •   Fatigue
  •   Bouts of extreme sadness or crying

Thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts

If you recognize one or more of these signs in your wife, she could certainly be experiencing depression. But how do you go about having a discussion with her about it?  There are several ways you can approach this situation.

Gather resources and have a discussion

You may want to gather some informational resources to hand to your wife after you have a heart to heart discussion with her.  Just let her know that you’d like to sit down and talk. Let her know that you have been concerned about her lately and ask her if she has been feeling depressed.

Chances are she will know she is struggling with depression, but the actual admitting of the fact can sometimes be difficult.

Make sure you let her know that you approve and love her no matter what she is going through. She needs to know that you are completely supportive of her while she admits to depression.  She may or may not want to get help for her depression.

This is where you can lovingly hand her the information on depression so she can take a look at it at her leisure. Perhaps as she reads up on the depression and learns how she can get some help, she may decide to do something about her mood.  The key is to be open, honest, and loving. If you’re judgmental or coarse, she will put a wall up, deny her condition, or maybe even blame you for her depressed mood. Remember...,

.....love opens doors and judgment closes them.

Educate yourself

Before approaching your wife about depression, educate yourself on the disorder. There is probably more to it than you’re aware of and it’s best if you know a bit about it before you approach her.

Many times, clinically depressed people want help, but they don’t know where to go for help. Maybe she has tried counseling and/or medications before and they didn’t seem to help.  It could be that she needs a different counselor and different medication. 

Or she may just be so down in the dumps that she has very little energy to even think about going to see a doctor. If you run into this, you can be the support and motivator in her life to get her out in order to get some help. Let her know you will attend the doctor with her and be with her every step of the way.

Reassure her that there are doctors and medications that can help her because many men and women have been treated for depression and reduced and/or eliminated all symptoms.

Depression can really wreak havoc in a marriage, as our moods tend to create a certain type of atmosphere. If your wife is struggling with depression, it has probably been affecting you too. 

Do your best to keep yourself uplifted by engaging in activities that you love and feeding yourself positive things. You can be an inspiration to your wife as you go about your life spreading love and happiness.  Understand that she is going through a rough patch and could really be battling a mental health condition known as depression. 

As you and her both come to accept this, then you and her can discuss various treatment options.

Depression does affect millions of men and women in America, but millions have also overcome depression.  With counseling, medication, and alternative healing methods, freedom from depressive symptoms have been found by those willing to do something about it.  I’m confident that you and your wife can do the same.

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